Sunday, 28 October 2012


First things first. Mollie considers herself far too sophisticated to troll any of us on a regular basis with any kind of bodily function. I have never heard so much of a squeak of a dogfart from her, she's never belched within earshot, and has never had any problem as far as housetraining is concerned. She could even be classified as a Good Dog in those terms, rather shockingly. But then she would. She is a classy lady after all.

This particular brand of trolling is from when she was a puppy, and is all about wee.

Now, generally, weeing is a form of submission with dogs, especially with younger ones. Believe it or not, there was actually a time when Mollie would have a moment when she could be considered submissive. That was a long, long time ago, I hasten to add.

Mollie was a hurricane of fur, needle teeth and high-pitched puppy barks from when she was a wee little thing up to adolescence. She was ALWAYS running everywhere, destroying things, and generally training herself to be the best troll dog she could be. Now she's refined her techniques into adulthood, and continues to run rings around me with her cheekiness and love of fox poo, but fortunately, this is something that has been left to her puppyhood, along with chewing on the walls and nipping my feet.

Well, for the most part anyway.

Maybe you dog owners had the same issue if you had a puppy, but whenever something that Mollie considered exciting/amazing/awesome, which could have been anything from someone coming home to you making eye contact with her, she would get this look on her face that basically translated into AHHHI'MSOEXCITEDI'MAPUPPYWHEEE - The tail would start moving so fast I was pretty sure she would be airborne soon, that glint in her eye would return, and of course, she would pretty much evacuate the contents of her bladder to whichever spot of carpet was unfortunate enough to be directly underneath her. There were countless times that my mum would arrive home from work, and IMMEDIATELY, there would be specks and streaks of wee on the carpet, much to my parents chagrin. Out came the carpet cleaner, bish bash bosh, just a minor bit of annoyance. We had already asked Professor Google about this, and read that this was something common to younger female dogs, and that she'd probably grow out of it, so we weren't really worried. To be honest, when something EXTREMELY exciting happens around the house, she might revert back to Puppy!Mollie a little, but to be honest, if something happened like a truck full of bacon arrived outside my house, I would probably pee my pants too, so we don't come down too hard on her for that.

So, one day, when I was in my last year of secondary school, I had half the day off, so I was just lazing around and doing nothing studying hard for classes, keeping an eye on young Mollie as she was whirling around, and basically just being a complete shit normal puppy. The doorbell goes. Mollie, in the garden, stops digging up whatever plant it is that she's destroying and makes a B-line for the back door. Nope! I know exactly how this will go, a hyperactive wriggling mass of slobber and urine. NOPE. Back door is shut before she has a chance to. Problem solved.

To the obstacle that is walls: SOON.
So, I answer the door. It's Tom, my nice neighbour who I sometimes jam with. He's a postman who works in our neighbourhood, and he just thought he'd pop by and say hello. Hello Tom! Of course, he asks about my new puppy. Uh. Sure, come round the back.

"Come and pet my adorable puppy!"

It can't be that bad if she's in the garden, I think to myself. She can pee to high heaven, it's outside. No worries!

So Tom follows me through our little gate where Mollie is already waiting. Seeing that she's meeting someone NEW and FUN and AMAZING and MYNEWBESTFRIENDEVER, she immediately takes off and starts running donuts around the garden to convey her approval. Alright. Then he calls her, and she careens straight for him, and the puppy-fuss begins. She's loving it, he's loving it, I'm standing out of the splash zone.

And then it happened.

She rolls on her back, and a spray of urine goes directly into his face as she rolls around excitedly. He looks up at me and wipes the droplets off his glasses, bemused.

I'm horrified. 'I'm SO sorry,' I say.

He's fine about it, but leaves pretty soon after that. I was mortified and appalled at my disgusting but social little springer.

Funnily enough, as a last note to this story, that particular neighbour ended up being a complete jackass to his partner, who is one of my close friends. When I found out about this, I immediately gave Mollie a treat and shared this story with his now ex-partner, who laughed and told me that the story "made her night".

So, though she's a troll, she is a very good judge of character!

Bearing in mind she has tried to smother me on occasion.


  1. Heheheh :) I look forward to hearing more of her antics! :)

  2. Hi there Molly. Nice to meet you. I've never met a cheeky dog before!

  3. Hi Mollie,
    Lily Belle here from NY. We just read about you on PBU and had to stop by to say hello. We're going to read some of your blog now. It's been nice to meet ya. Stop by and say hello to me and my doxie sister Muffin sometime.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  4. Hi I've just popped over from PBU to say hi. Happy Halloween.


  5. Just popped over from PBU to say hello!! Mollie looks likr lots of fun :-)

  6. Just heard about you from Pet Blogs United and am now following you! This is Caren and Cody from Cat Chat but my Sheltie also has a blog, Dakota's Den
    The reason I wanted to follow you is my sister-in-law in Florida has a Springer guessed it "MOLLIE!!" I think her spelling might be "Molly" though.
    So nice to meet you!

  7. Can't help but love that dog!! :)

    My dog Buddy is pretty good at holding his pee for hours. Sometimes he has accidents, but never ever on top of the furniture. I was so proud of him. Until the day I had outpatient surgery. Nothing unusual about how we left the house or came back to the house. I was just ready to crawl into my CLEAN bed with its fresh crisp cool sheets and piles of pillows. I had stitches in my stomach so all I wanetd to do was lay down. I got to my bed, Buddy is leaping around on joy and excitement and wee's all over my clean sheets. I have NO idea why he chose that particular time to do that?! Somebody always takes the dogs out when we first get home, so they knew that... but whatever. He has never done it again since either!

  8. Hey everyone! Thank you for the lovely comments, I love reading them! Gonna be checking out your blogs too! :)